Captain America reviewed by a Redneck

admin | July 24, 2011 in Randomly | Comments (0)

Written by guest writer Stephen Payne

“Captain America was a bad ass movie.  It is all about America and how we are fuckin better then every one of them other countries out there, especially those commies.  It started out with some pussy boy that got some drugs and turned into a big ol bastard like one of those wrestlers I watch.  He shoulda said can you smell what the captain is cookin when he killed those germans!  So the short shit turns into a big ol guy and gets into the Army but instead starts dancin around like some sort of prissy boy baby bitch.  AMERICA IS NOT ABOUT THOSE DANCIN QUEERS.  Then captain gets pissed off and starts going apeshit on some germans!  I liked his shield cause he threw that sunabitch at the nazis and knocked their asses flat.  captian then sees some red face asshole and starts to fight him, but the indian skinned fellow got some blue ice cube that made shit glow.  Anyways captain beats the shit outta the red faced guy and is then in the future.

I liked the movie cause it was really about how bad ass america is and how if you believe in god and yourself you can do whatever the fuck you want.  Captain was a good christian that believed in killin them germans and so he did it.  Yeah he did drugs to do it, but who doesn’t.  I liked the special effects, it was crazy how the explosions were every where and I wanna know where they got that red faced fellow from.  He musta had cancer or something.  Also, how did they get the captain to be all weak and short and get tall and strong?  they musta started filmin this years ago, and I think thats awesome that they thought of this that long ago.  I wish they woulda showed cap killin more germans though, more heads comin off and guts.  Those nazis deserved it for killen them jews.  I liked the movie and im gonna have my cousin burn me a copy when it comes out on the discs.  Im onna give it a good ol 69/69 for bad ass americanism.  y’all gotta see this is you like america, if you don’t see it then fuck you.”

Thank you Stephen.

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