I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2

admin | July 16, 2011 in Randomly | Comments (1)

This morning I woke up early to see the last entry in the Harry Potter series.  Needless to say I was quite disappointed.  Here are my reasons why.

1.There was no Dobby seen in the movie.  My favorite character in the entire series was Dobby.  He was super bad ass and could go anywhere he wanted.  He also had a really awesome accent and reminded us all how important slavery is in everyday life.  Slavery wouldn’t have been abolished if black people could teleport…

2.Harry did not kill Malfoy.  He is a huge dick.  Seriously, his wand ought to be made out of a man’s member because that is exactly what he is.  He never does anything nice for Harry and Harry bends over backwards for the douche.  “Oh hey Draco, wanna join my party against Voldemort?” “Nah, I’m just gonna go chill with my mom. GL HF!”  That is word for word what they said to each other before Harry said fuck off you white haired asshole, and Draco shoved his wand up his rear.

3.Where was the quidditch?  Seriously, that sport was what held the movie together.  If Harry didn’t become a seeker, he would have probably ended up like that one twin.  It’s a sport about skill and wizardry.  What else do you fucking need to make a sport amazing?   “All of the quidditch players should be forced to watch the movie Contact and then play while Emeril Lagasse throws bombs at them and they are just WAITING for him to say BAM!” Okay, you win.

4.Neville Longbottom should have had like a million ladies at his feet.  Seriously, the dude saves the day like a badass and at the movie Luna sits next to him.  Really?  There should have also been that asian chick on the other side along with Moaning Myrtle giving him a lap dance.

5.  Where did that dragon go.  That was a big fucking dragon and you mean to tell me it doesn’t show up at least once to seek revenge?  Those little fuckers had him trapped underground for who knows how long and you think he is just going to forget about it?  Hell no, that dragon should have come back ready to massacre all those little dwarf bureaucrat assholes.  At give PETA a ring…

 


One Response to “I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2”

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  1. Comment by Ryan MalizeJuly 17, 2011 at 2:58 am   Reply

    And that ladies and gentlemen, is what grinds my gears…

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