What I said while playing Shadows of the Damned

admin | June 25, 2011 in Gaming | Comments (1)

Here is word for word what I screamed in a gentle voice at the tv while playing Shadows of the Damned.

“Fuckin’ floating words.”

“That demon was an asshole.”

“This guy’s tattoos would give Duke Nukem a hard-on.”

“Is that a fucking goat?”

“…that goat’s not wearing pants…”

“I think I just called the goat a Bitch Santa in Spanish… that goat is still naked…”


“What the fuck?  Either a girl is getting raped or railed by 20 spartans.”

“Oh, she’s dead.”

“This guy has a super badass guitar and zebra couch?  I want his life.”


“Dead woman g-string.”

“Well this guy looks like a douche, 3 heads is unnecessary.”

“He said penetration!”


“My gun has a first name, and it’s Johnson!”

“Johnson is now a stick…”

“Johnson is now a motorcycle that would make James Dean cry babies.”

“Johnson is british?!”

“Johnson is my hero.”

Suddenly, opening title. This game is super sweet tits.  I haven’t beaten it yet, because I have been too busy reenacting Game of Thrones in my room by myself.  But I mean, you have a gun called a boner, and your save point is made by one eyed willy who drops a deuce.  Whoever made this game is fit to have a velociraptor as a pet.  And I’m talking about the kind that slashes that kid’s stomach at the beginning of the first Jurassic Park.  I fucking hate that kid.



One Response to “What I said while playing Shadows of the Damned”

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  1. Comment by SyKrysus — June 26, 2011 at 1:36 pm   Reply


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