Archive for September, 2011

What if Allah was one of us?

admin | September 28, 2011 in Randomly | Comments (0)

What if?

I mean everyone nowadays is walking around saying, “hey, those white people should die.  Allah says so.”  It’s like the new “where’s the beef?”  It’s just cool to say.

Now, what if this Allah was one of us, like… real.

Would he go to the grocery store and pick up his groceries?  Or would he get a job in the deli, stick some C4 in a ham and detonate it right as you celebrate being white?

Tough to say.  Odds are though, he would be an alright guy.  He would probably say “hey, I got this religion, if you don’t like it, cool.”  I mean he got in his famous position by bein a cool guy.  I mean, it’s not like Buddha got to his spot by ripping off people on eBay.  He did stuff that made people smile and feel warm inside.

The problem with this article is, it could get me killed.  I am in no way saying that Allah is a bad guy, or being BUT this is satire and if I know one thing about the middle east, it’s that they don’t fucking understand humor.

This brings me to a revelation, maybe they are attacking us because we are funnier than them.  I mean we have South Park, Family Guy, The Daily Show… I mean we have Comedy Central. Maybe they aren’t attack us because of our freedom, but because we know how to laugh.  Have you ever seen a middle eastern person laugh?  I don’t think so.

So, maybe all we need to do to end this war is to make them laugh.  How about it?  Maybe we could draw a cartoon of one of their prophets…

White People Suck

admin | September 26, 2011 in Randomly | Comments (0)

I recently moved to Orlando to be with my girlfriend.  I have to say it’s a nice change from my old town.

My old town consisted of old people and kids who drive BMW’s.  Now I am in a town that, and I swear, consists of mostly Hispanic people.  I am no way saying that this is a bad thing either because white people suck.  I am dead serious, white people are the most annoying people in the world.

I don’t know why, but since I have been in retail I have lost so much respect for white people.  White people have too many damn problems.  They try so hard to be like everyone else and think that everyone loves them.  News flash, you’re white, nobody likes you.

The sad thing about all this is, is that I am white.  It sucks.  I just want to be a race doesn’t have assholes. I know people from New Zealand aren’t a race, but if they were, I would want to be one of them.  A Kiwi.

White people take advantage everything they have.  A 401k doesn’t grow on a tree, I promise you, but if you pluck those apples, start a business and get rich from it, maybe you can have one.  Now this is where I run into a problem with a white people.  White people used to be cool, after the slavery and before the hippies.  They worked hard for their living, and never took anything for advantage.

White people, why can’t we just be awesome again?  Why do we have to be so shitty?  We all complain about the government is taking all the money from businesses, but that’s all white people do.  We complain and fly some stupid ass tea party flag.  That isn’t going to do shit.  All that energy you used to be whiny redneck could have been used for that business you say is getting robbed.

I mean take a lesson from black people and Indians.  They had some struggles and got through it all.  But who gave them those struggles? White people.  The thing is is that white people don’t have any struggles, we have it good.  We just ruin everything for ourselves and everyone else.

Just wise up white people, or I’m going to move to New Zealand.

League of Legends Dominion Impressions

admin | September 25, 2011 in Gaming | Comments (0)

Riot has been kind enough to allow an open beta testing of Dominion recently.  They released it in windows of availability for everyone.  So if you were lucky enough to log on when it was open, then you got to play.  I’ve never seen this kind of beta testing before, but I feel like it was more of a preview than beta testing because it seemed pretty well put together.

I honestly have no bad remarks about this new game mode, it’s fast, frantic, and fun as hell. It seems Riot took their sweet ass time on this, and I couldn’t be happier that they did.  Of course a lot of people were raging over how long it was taking, but sometimes you have to wait for good things.  PC gamers are just the hardest people to please.

If you don’t know what Dominion is, imagine that capture the flag and king of the hill had sweet non-consensual love and the bastard child was Dominion.  You have 5 capture points and a team health of 500.  The more points you have captured, the less your health goes down.  The less you have captured, the more your health goes down.  Once you reach 0, you just lost the game.

They added a bunch of new stuff in this game mode that we have never seen in LoL before.  There are new items, new buffs, health packs and a lot more.  The health packs help out a lot when you are just on the verge of dieing and need that little boost of life to help you defend.  Also, the movements speed boosts help out a ton for getting around.  You just walk through the area and you automatically have the buff, no killing any neutral monsters.  I can see why there are no neutral monsters because it’s so fast paced, you don’t have time for it.

I have only tried a couple champs with dominion, Shaco, Skarner, and Kennen.  I didn’t even want to bother with a tanky dps because we all know they will fare well.  I wanted to see how these randoms would work out.

Kennen was awesome in Dominion.  His E gets you around the map very easily and is great for the crowd control you need in this mode.  Same with his ult, everyone attacks together right from the beginning so it’s nice having this crowd control.

Shaco was pretty good, the main thing was his boxes helped out with defending.  I just laid them around the turrets and defended.  I would use my Q to roam around the turret and stop someone from trying to take it.

Skarner was meh.  His shield gave a welcomed speed boost, and his lifesteal gives great sustainability.  His ult was nice for pulling enemies away from capturing, or into the turret.  I built him as an AP tank, and I fared pretty well.

Of course as we go down the road, we will learn to play champs differently in this game mode in ways we never thought to play them.  That is what I find so exciting about this new game mode, it’s a whole new world, a new fantastic point of view.

Rebotos of classic games are awesome

admin | September 19, 2011 in Gaming | Comments (0)

Every year, publishers release brand new games that they worked their asses on.  We, as the consumers eat the good games up, and always remember that first time we popped in those perfect games we played.  Those are the games that we gives us nostalgia when we talk about them.  Remember when you first started playing Sonic, or Mario for that matter?  I sure as hell do.  I remember getting Sonic 1, 2 and Sonic & Knuckles specifically.

I bring this up because we have been seeing a lot of reboots of classic games.  I don’t say they are ports because the publishers usually spruce the hell out of these games.  A lot of people are complaining that the developers lost their creativity and just release old games because they know they will sell.

Well you wanna know why they will sell?  Because we love nostalgia and good ass games.  These games will sell because we, the consumer, will buy them because we want to play them and want to be taken back to the glory days.

I remember staying up all night on my brothers birthday when he got his N64 playing Starfox 64.  Well, before I go to bed tonight, I will be playing that same game but on my 3ds with better graphics a crapload of extras.  Not only is the core game still intact, they brought it into the new era of gaming.  Same thing with The Ocarina of Time.

These reboots of games like Beyond Good & Evil, Zelda, Ico, Starfox, and many more are exactly what we need.  We need to be reminded of the games that really made us want to sit down and enjoy the fuck out of a video game.  We spend too much time just sitting down and playing Call of Duty because it’s what everyone else does.

Of course there are new games that we should enjoy like Dead Island, Deus Ex, etc and there are games coming out this winter that will blow us away, but these reboots should be welcome by all in the market.

I mean if somebody said they were rebooting Primal Rage I would flip shit like the Gorilla in the game.  I would buy that over any game coming out this winter besides Skyrim.  Sound a bit too extreme?  Yes, but I just ate a Slim Jim.

In conclusion, I say “nay bitch”, to those who hate on these reboots.  They are great games and are being remade for a damn good reason.

Don’t hate the game, hate the player.

Star Tours. My gf is a rebel spy. :3

admin | September 12, 2011 in Randomly | Comments (0)

I went to hollywood studios recently with my gf, and went on the ride Star Tours for the second time.

If you haven’t been there yet and gone on this ride, you don’t deserve that telescopic lightsaber. This ride is bad ass.

You walk into the starspeeder sit down with 3d glasses and it takes off with C3-PO piloting. Every ride it picks a guest to be the spy and my gf was picked this time.

My girlfriend is a rebel spy.

Yes, I do love her

You then get taken to various planets via the starspeeder and it is a blast.

I have to say, as a star wars nerd, this ride gave me a good ol nerdgasm.

Here’s a couple pics of the queue.







10 Things Learned from Dead Island

admin | September 7, 2011 in Gaming | Comments (0)

This is what I have learned so far from Act 1 of Dead Island.

10. Beach balls = brick walls.

9. Island goers live exclusively on canned food, energy drinks, and Jack Daniels knock off whiskey.

8. Energy drinks improve your health, contrary to popular belief.

7. Punching takes a lot of stamina.  Kicking?  Bend it all day like Beckham, and you won’t get tired.

6. Everyone has a paddle.  Seriously, they are everywhere.

5. Juice is necessary for survival during the zombie apocalypse.  It’s got vitamin C.

4. When the zombies took over, every single girl was wearing a bikini by the beach and have a solid C cup.  No I’m not complaining.

3. That storm is never going to come.

2. Where are the girl zombie’s hiding their loot? o_O

1. You will always enter the passenger side of the truck.  Always.

I am in no way hating on this game, I actually love the hell out of this game.  I can spend hours just roaming around throwing everything I can find at zombies and punting them into oblivion.  I have to say this is THE zombie game of this gen.

Dominion VS. 5v5, 3v3

admin | September 6, 2011 in Gaming | Comments (0)

With Dominion coming out for League of Legends, I have a lot on my mind… but I’m also thinking about if I am going to play too much Dominion and not touch the original LoL maps.  Also, is Riot going to put all their time in balancing for Dominion that they will ruin 5v5 or 3v3.

I love the new layout for Dominion, and I love what Riot is doing with it.  I think it is a really innovative take on the MOBA genre.  They are putting a hell of a lot of effort into this new map and I am a bit worried that Riot will put all their time into Dominion and not put an equal amount of attention to the original maps.

I will still play the original maps and those will be my primary focus, and I will play a couple Dominions matches here and there when I am bored.  Riot could make this change though, if Dominion turns out to be a really well made map and has a lot of competition in it.  I primarily play the 5v5 and 3v3 for the competitive aspect and it seems like Dominion is just for fun.

That’s what it really looks like to me, Dominion = for fun short little matches and 5v5, 3v3 = Competitive play.

It’s a bit unfair, however, for me to say too much because I haven’t really played Dominion yet.  I have watched videos and I can say that there is an awesome opportunity for serious competitive play, but I really can’t make up my mind until I play it.

What about you, are you going to main Dominion, 5v5, 3v3 or going to fuck around with them all?

Seriously Florida?

admin | September 2, 2011 in Randomly | Comments (0)

I was born in Arizona, land of the prejudice and moved here, to Florida. Actually I have lived in Az twice and this is my second time moving here to Fl but that’s besides the point
Anyways, after living here for almost 10 years I have realized one thing.

Florida is retarded.

When I say retarded, I don’t mean “hey,spending that extra dollar was retarded”, I’m talking “that kid just humped that alligator with drool pouring out of his mouth” retarded.

From Casey Anthony, football team brawls, Quran burning to kids planning to blow up the school. Every time something ridiculous happens in the news, the location is usually Florida.

Can someone explain to me why Florida is the source of all evil?