Archive for July, 2011

Dog Lovers are not the same as Batshitcrazy Dog People

admin | July 31, 2011 in Randomly | Comments (0)

I will be honest, I have a dog and she is one of my best friends.  She is always there for me and never talks shit to me, I love her.  She was there for me during the worst time of my life and all she did was make me smile and get me through it all.  Kory(my dog) means a lot to me, but it seems like dogs mean way too damn much to some people.

I was driving today and I saw an rv that had bumperstickers that said “I got rid of my kids because my dog was allergic”, “My dog is not spoiled” and “The more people I meet, the more I love my dog.”  There is a fucking point where you go from having a dog as a close friend, to being absolutely batshitcrazy over dogs.  I have seen some human beings that are way too in love with their dogs, I mean people get married to them.

Over a year ago, I was at a local SPCA when a woman came up to me.  She said she loved her dog and she got him from this SPCA and he is her best friend.  I thought, cool, this lady loves her dog, that’s respectable, some people have very close relationships with their dogs.  But then this lady proceeded to say,”no, I am in love with my dog.”  Seriously? What the hell am I supposed to say back to that?  So I nodded and walked away from the crazy dog lady.

Why are some people so damn nuts over dogs or even cats?  Everyone knows a crazy cat lady, because they are everywhere!  I just don’t understand how people get so into their dog’s and spend more energy on their animals than themselves, because usually these people are the ones that you whisper about at Walmart.


From Dust Review

admin | July 29, 2011 in Gaming | Comments (0)

Tsunamis, volcanoes and storms oh my.  From Dust is a new game that was brought to the Xbox Live Arcade that features all of these disasters and more.  From Dust is a new take on the “god” genre games where you are the controller of the game, in sense. It was released July 27th, and let me be honest, I wanted this game well before the release date.  I saw the trailer for it and was so excited to play this game because it is something different, and new.  Little did I know that this game was not only different and new, but also could be very challenging, which was welcome.

If you were ever that kid that would find a little stream and build dams in it just to see what would happen, then you need to read this and buy this game.

From Dust lets you take control of water, dirt, and lava, but with these three resources, what you can build is limitless.  You control these elements with picking them up by holding down your left trigger and releasing them with the right.  The tricky part is knowing where in the world to release these resources.  Sometimes you will need to drop some sand across a river, or maybe you will just drop some lava across a river and have it turn into stone so you do not have to deal with the sands erosion factor.  This is what drives this game, figuring out what to build and what to get rid of.  It is not as cut and dry as it seems, the creators made levels that allow you to solve the puzzles in hundreds of ways, so going back and replaying is a definite.

The object of the game is really to guide tribes to a door, but in order to get them there you must populate villages.  This entails you going to one of the village sites and telling you tribe to get there.  It is not as easy as it seems though, there will be many obstacles that your tribesmen must overcome in order to reach their destination.  That is where you come in, you will be building bridges and getting rid of water in order for your tribe to get to their destination.  At first, this was very easy, but as the game went on, some of these challenges because very difficult.  They may seem impossible at times, but all the tools you need are right there for you.  Some of these “tools’ come in the form of special abilities, like the jellify water or evaporate abilities you get from forming certain villages.  You will really need to use these abilities in order to beat the missions, so always remember you have them at hand.

I did find myself, however, just jellifying water and stacking it into a huge pillar and then releasing it so a huge wave would ensue.  You will find yourself building random things and being sidetracked a lot, which is why I find that this game will entertain me for quite some time.

Another fun thing that they put into this game was the aforementioned disasters that you will have to deal with.  The tsunami, I would have to say, was my favorite.  When one is coming in to sweep your civilization away, you can just watch it approach, and see it engulf islands.  This is where you can really see the engine at work.  They really programmed this game well to really show off natural water flow and erosion.  I would find myself just watching rivers being formed as I created a dam.

I do not have many complaints about this game, the only one that I can really say are that the little tribesmen were very stupid at times and would beg for your help because they did something completely idiotic.  Also, a biggie for me was the camera, it seemed off.  You had three views all together, your regular view that was somewhat birds-eye, a birds-eye view, and then a world view.  If there was a way to move in between the two extremes of the regular and birds-eye, that would be very welcomed.

All in all I really have nothing else to say bad about this game, I loved it to death.  I had been waiting for it for quite some time and I am pleased with the end result.  I would sum this game up as a god/puzzle game with a whole lot of character.  I would suggest buying this game for the 1200 Microsoft point.  Get ready for a bit of a challenge and going back to levels you already played just to see if you could do it better.


Some preorder bonuses!

admin | July 28, 2011 in Gaming | Comments (0)

Ace Combat: Assault Horizon– F-4 Phantom II; The McDonnell Douglas F-4E

Sonic Generations– Casino Night pinball stage, Sonic theme for your console, Super Sonic avatar for 360

WWE 12– The Miz’s Awesome Attire and The Rock


The assumption of Norway

admin | July 27, 2011 in Randomly | Comments (0)

To assume is to jump into a dark pit.

To assume and be wrong is to jump into a dark pit to only find an untimely death.

To assume and be correct is to jump into a dark part to only find yourself landing safe but with no way out.

I say this because I witnessed many making unbelievable assumptions over the past few days.

I woke up hearing about Amy Winehouse’s death, it was quite tragic.  This seemed to cover my Facebook and Twitter accounts.  Her death was untimely and very tragic, she had a beautiful voice and so much potential.  She was overcome by her addiction and fell victim to it.

The one story that was hiding from me was the massacre that was taking place in Oslo, Norway.  As I say massacre, I mean it to it’s very definition.  What happened in Oslo was a massacre, it was a killing over innocent people over a train of thought few have witnessed.

When the shootings first took place many pundits were quick to jump and say it was an act of terrorism.  Some were also quick to explain that it was being coordinated by al-Qaeda.  Was happened in Oslo was merely an act of terror against a peaceful, and predominately white nation.

When word got out that that there had been a white male on the island causing death, “experts” were not quick to change their opinions, they simply kept their assumption that it was either al-Qaeda or a Muslim extremist group.  This white male could still possibly be part of al-Qaeda and Muslim.

When word got out that he was killing for his own right-wing, Christian beliefs, I believe that is when many “experts” in the media world saw their credibility flash before their very own eyes.

Do not give up on the media of today, however, for they will overcome any obstacle in their way as long as they have the last word that is believable by the audience.

Afterwards, the media was still scrambling to find ways to blame the Muslim religion.  What better way to blame the Muslims than point out that this man caused this massacre because he was acting out against Islam.

Yes, media had succeeded again, and Islam was again the reason for something wrong in the world.

I am not one to say Islam is a perfect religion, as there is no perfect religion, but we as Americans tend to blame all of our troubles on Muslims.  Yes the men who caused 9/11 were Muslim, but the man who caused the holocaust was Catholic.

I find myself rewriting my first sentences.

To assume is to jump into a dark pit.

To assume and be wrong is to jump into a dark pit only to find an untimely death.

To assume and be correct is to jump into a dark pit only to find that you never jumped at all.


I never play my consoles, but my PC logs hours.

admin | July 26, 2011 in Gaming | Comments (0)

I have noticed recently that I barely play my consoles when I get the hankering to play a video game.  I used to sit down in my game room and play for hours but I just don’t do it anymore, instead I am at my computer playing games to my hearts desire.  I have tried to figure this out, and it is obvious: the pc will always be greater than the console video game system.

I have all my games at my disposal and can be accessed with the click of a button.  Not only are my games easy to access but I have programs like Steam that make keeping my games up to date and organized so much easier.  Now I will always want hard copies of my games on my consoles and PC but having everything digital on my PC just makes like so damn easy.

I used to never play games on my PC, but I have since realized how easy it is to have a greater gaming system than my consoles.  It used to be a hassle for my to upgrade my computer because I wasn’t planning ahead, and only planning for the now.  Now that I have learned from my mistakes, my PC is set for a couple of years to play games at max settings.  And these max settings look better than any console game out there.  Try and tell me Skyrim or Battlefield is going to look better on the console versions and I’ll show you a finger.

Also, my PC is such a better computer than my PS3 and Xbox360.  I throw money into this beast to make it as powerful as I can, but I do it for a reasonable price and it’s cost is probably what I paid for the 360 and PS3 combined.  Now you will never be able to upgrade your consoles, but I will always be able to update my PC.  It’s understandable why you can’t upgrade a console, but why pick a static console when I can have a PC that will play games that look so much better than a console version. Owning a console is easier, yes, but not as rewarding as playing games on your PC.

There are seriously so many reason why I play my PC over my consoles, and I hope everyone out there realizes that the PC is greater than the consoles.  Us gamers should know this, and I know PC gaming isn’t “family friendly”, but I would love to see that change.  Upgrading and updating a PC is easy to do, people just need to learn how, and need to learn how to game on a PC.  I don’t want to see the PC go under like it has been said it is going to do.  I do feel, however, that PC gaming will always be around, but I want to see it stronger than ever.  I hope everyone can agree with me as you read this.  Long live PC gaming.


Neville FTW

admin | in Randomly | Comments (0)


Captain America reviewed by a Redneck

admin | July 24, 2011 in Randomly | Comments (0)

Written by guest writer Stephen Payne

“Captain America was a bad ass movie.  It is all about America and how we are fuckin better then every one of them other countries out there, especially those commies.  It started out with some pussy boy that got some drugs and turned into a big ol bastard like one of those wrestlers I watch.  He shoulda said can you smell what the captain is cookin when he killed those germans!  So the short shit turns into a big ol guy and gets into the Army but instead starts dancin around like some sort of prissy boy baby bitch.  AMERICA IS NOT ABOUT THOSE DANCIN QUEERS.  Then captain gets pissed off and starts going apeshit on some germans!  I liked his shield cause he threw that sunabitch at the nazis and knocked their asses flat.  captian then sees some red face asshole and starts to fight him, but the indian skinned fellow got some blue ice cube that made shit glow.  Anyways captain beats the shit outta the red faced guy and is then in the future.

I liked the movie cause it was really about how bad ass america is and how if you believe in god and yourself you can do whatever the fuck you want.  Captain was a good christian that believed in killin them germans and so he did it.  Yeah he did drugs to do it, but who doesn’t.  I liked the special effects, it was crazy how the explosions were every where and I wanna know where they got that red faced fellow from.  He musta had cancer or something.  Also, how did they get the captain to be all weak and short and get tall and strong?  they musta started filmin this years ago, and I think thats awesome that they thought of this that long ago.  I wish they woulda showed cap killin more germans though, more heads comin off and guts.  Those nazis deserved it for killen them jews.  I liked the movie and im gonna have my cousin burn me a copy when it comes out on the discs.  Im onna give it a good ol 69/69 for bad ass americanism.  y’all gotta see this is you like america, if you don’t see it then fuck you.”

Thank you Stephen.


Top 10 Releases Left This Year

admin | July 20, 2011 in Gaming | Comments (2)

10. Forza 4 (Oct 11)

So if you are into racing games, or even have a slight interest in them at all, you will have to check out Forza 4.  This game has unbelievable graphics and a slew of cars.  Also, the car customization will be back in full force and the amazing multiplayer races.  The one feature that I am most excited with is that Top Gear is very well featured in this game, and why not, it is the most popular automobile TV show.  I just want to race a lap around their test track without having to win a race of only VW buses(Damn you GT4).

9.Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Q4)

This is a given, Zelda games are always welcome and never disappoint.  Skyward Sword will hopefully have full fledged motion recognition and you will actually be able to swing a sword.  The most welcoming aspect of this game is that it is the prequel to Ocarina of Time.  You are the preceding incarnation of Link that appears in Ocarina of Time.  Skyward Sword flows into Ocarina of Time, and explains Ganandorf’s appearance.

8.Deus Ex: Human Revolution (Aug 23)

Deus Ex, one of the coolest series I have seen that features human augmentation and badassery. Deus Ex: Human Revolution is a first person shooter that is based around five pillars of gameplay: stealth, hacking, combat, social and exploration.  You will need to use all five of these pillars in order to succeed in this game, meaning you may have to break from combat in order to make a stealthy exit.  Human Revolution also offers a robust cover system, and if a game can do a good cover system you know they worked hard on the game.

7.Uncharted 3 (Nov 1)

Tomb Raider – boobs +amazing graphics + exciting multiplayer + a ton more = Uncharted.  That’s for all you people who say Uncharted is an exact copy of Tomb Raider.  Uncharted is an amazing series with a ton of depth in gameplay and story line, and characters that are unforgettable.  This next entry in the Uncharted series has me excited not only for the amazing single player, but an addictive multiplayer that will keep everyone around for a while.

6.Fifa 2012 (Q3)

I have to say, Fifa 2012 looks to be one of the best sports games to date.  They have completely revamped the engine for this latest entry.  Fifa likes to make good games, unlike Madden, and they really strive to improve on each entry.  The graphics, animations and added controls look to be amazing.  Being a football aficionado, I am unbelievably excited for this game.  It looks to really bring honor to the sport, and even if you are not a fan of the sport, you will love the addictive gameplay.  There is nothing more gratifying that getting a bicycle kick in and shoving it in a friend’s face.

5.Rage (Oct 4)

You say Fallout wasn’t you cup of tea?  Well then if Rage isn’t, you are a special person.  Rage is a post apocalyptic game that is about you, a survivor of an asteroid smacking the hell out of Earth, and you struggle to survive.  It features an RPG system that will allow you to take quests, upgrade your weapons and ammo, and an inventory system.  Rage is also based around the ability to trick out your wasteland buggy and turning it into a car that would make any character from Twisted Metal blush.

4.Batman: Arkham City (Oct 18)

We all know what Batman: Arkham City is about, you are Batman in Arkham City, and Hugo Strange is trying to screw everything up.  Arkham City is a city where all the villains were sent to after Arkham Asylum screwed the pooch.  Hugo Strange was hire to keep control over the city, but he has other plans for the city.  This entry in the Batman series will be notably longer, around 25 hours, and you be able to free roam around the city picking up side quests and avoiding all the gangs that make up Arkham City.

3.Dead Island (Sept 6)

Ever play Borderlands?  Did you like Borderlands?  Like zombies?Well if you answered yes, then you will most likely love Dead Island.  A free roaming game set on an island over taken by zombies.  You play as a survivor who is immune to the zombie disease and you are trying to figure out how the hell to escape.  Dead Island allows you to pick from 4 main character each specializing in weapons and defense; there is an assassin, tank, ranged and jack of all trades.  Dead Island also offers weapons customization, where you can combine weapons, it is similar to Dead Rising 2, but it looks to be much more robust.

2.Battlefield 3 (Oct 25)

There is a reason why I did not feature Modern Warfare 3 on this list, why do you need to when you have Battlefield 3 being released 2 weeks earlier?  Battlefield 3 is going to blow away MW3 in terms of being an actual good game.  BF3 offers destructible environments, an amazing physics and lighting engine, and a whole new engine all together, Frostbite 2.  If you have seen any videos of the gameplay from Battlefield 3 you know exactly what I mean.  This game looks unreal, it is the best looking 1st person shooter to be released.  Also, if you have a PC you are in for a treat, 64 player online!

1. Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (Nov 11)

Nothing I really need to say here.  Skyrim will take away your life, I am expecting 300 hours from this game.  A completely redone Elder Scrolls game that features local economies that can be influenced by the player, NPC’s that do their own thing and don’t just stand their waiting for you to say hello, effing dragons everywhere that give you powers when you kill them, a huge world that can be entirely explored by the player, beautiful graphics, a redone combat system, etc etc etc.  Seriously, this game is going to rape you of your life when it comes out.  This is, by far, the most exciting release this year.


Rupert Murdoch Pied in the face!

admin | July 19, 2011 in Randomly | Comments (0)


Special editions!

admin | July 17, 2011 in Gaming | Comments (0)

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I still thing that saints row the third special edition is the coolest one in a while. It comes with a headset that automatically auto tunes your voice. They are comparable to skull candies. The headset won’t work with your 360 however but will work with phones and computers.


I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows Part 2

admin | July 16, 2011 in Randomly | Comments (1)

This morning I woke up early to see the last entry in the Harry Potter series.  Needless to say I was quite disappointed.  Here are my reasons why.

1.There was no Dobby seen in the movie.  My favorite character in the entire series was Dobby.  He was super bad ass and could go anywhere he wanted.  He also had a really awesome accent and reminded us all how important slavery is in everyday life.  Slavery wouldn’t have been abolished if black people could teleport…

2.Harry did not kill Malfoy.  He is a huge dick.  Seriously, his wand ought to be made out of a man’s member because that is exactly what he is.  He never does anything nice for Harry and Harry bends over backwards for the douche.  “Oh hey Draco, wanna join my party against Voldemort?” “Nah, I’m just gonna go chill with my mom. GL HF!”  That is word for word what they said to each other before Harry said fuck off you white haired asshole, and Draco shoved his wand up his rear.

3.Where was the quidditch?  Seriously, that sport was what held the movie together.  If Harry didn’t become a seeker, he would have probably ended up like that one twin.  It’s a sport about skill and wizardry.  What else do you fucking need to make a sport amazing?   “All of the quidditch players should be forced to watch the movie Contact and then play while Emeril Lagasse throws bombs at them and they are just WAITING for him to say BAM!” Okay, you win.

4.Neville Longbottom should have had like a million ladies at his feet.  Seriously, the dude saves the day like a badass and at the movie Luna sits next to him.  Really?  There should have also been that asian chick on the other side along with Moaning Myrtle giving him a lap dance.

5.  Where did that dragon go.  That was a big fucking dragon and you mean to tell me it doesn’t show up at least once to seek revenge?  Those little fuckers had him trapped underground for who knows how long and you think he is just going to forget about it?  Hell no, that dragon should have come back ready to massacre all those little dwarf bureaucrat assholes.  At give PETA a ring…

 


Why the debt ceiling won’t get raised

admin | July 15, 2011 in Randomly | Comments (0)


Regis Derpin

admin | in Randomly | Comments (0)

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Earth Defense Force: Insect Armageddon Review

admin | July 14, 2011 in Gaming | Comments (0)

 

I have been waiting for this game for a pretty good time.  The last EDF was not a lot to look at, but it was so much fun and I hoped that this game would present the same thing.  I wanted mindless baddie killing, and many moments of feeling overwhelmed and as though Armageddon was really at your doorstep.  Well, I have played the game and it is safe to say the EDF: Insect Armageddon gave me exactly what I wanted and at a price of $39.99.

In certain games, there are points where you are about to be overwhelmed and suddenly you get an amazing weapon and can plow through the bad guys like a hot knife through butter.  Well imagine that, but a whole game with that same aspect.  EDF  Insect Armageddon give you a world that is being taken over by alienoid insects that are absolutely huge, but very weak to human weapons.  You get to pick out of 5 different classes of soldiers, but can choose a different one at the beginning of each mission.  Each soldier has different special abilities, like the Jet Pack trooper has… a jet pack, or the heavy guns guy is like a damn tank.  I ended up just playing mostly as the standard soldier that could roll around and reload quickly.  When you start your mission, you can change the color of your solider, and buy new weapons and change your loadout.  The bazookas and assault rifles were my go to weapons for sure.  The selection of weapons, however, is amazing though.  You definitely get a lot of guns to choose from, and they are all different in their own ways.

The gameplay is just as you would expect it to be, simple and great.  You sprint, dodge, shoot, reload and jump pretty much.  The reload feature is very similar to the Gears of War system, where you have to hit the reload button again at the right time in order to get a quick reload.  This feature adds to the chaos that you are put through, which I welcomed.  Not only are you worried about that huge spider that is going to rip you to shreds, you are worried about reloading as well.  That is one thing this game does very well, you feel overwhelmed pretty much all the time, but in the back of your head you know you can handle it all.  It’s as though you are the new age Rambo of insect ass kicking.  There is honestly nothing more gratifying that taking out the big bugs.

I found the controls I mentioned to work pretty well, and the mapping is easy to remember.  The game runs very smooth, and the framerate stays pretty solid even with all the chaos going on.  The textures on buildings and the terrain are nothing special, but the textures on the bugs are pretty good.  It’s an arcade game, and you get the arcade graphics, nothing special but something to be reckoned with.  You will notice some of the edges and polygons, but this is just so the game can run at a constant FPS.  The HUD is pretty well laid out, but I found myself never looking at my ammo amount, considering ammo came at the amount of… infinite.  The only real problem I had was that the mini-map doesn’t do a great job at pinpointing where you are, sometimes I couldn’t find myself on it among all the other green dots.

There are honestly two main reasons why you will buy this game, either it is it’s price tag or it is the co-op capabilities that it has.  IT is 2 player split screen, 3 player online campaign and 6 player survival modes.  Now I know Dungeon Siege is running on that it is the co-op king, but this game is so much fun to play with friends.  There is nothing more fun that mowing through these bugs with a friends.  This is also where character classes are important as well, as you will need everyone to kind of spread out their classes.  If you have friends and are not forever alone, I suggest you get this asap.

Overall, I loved this game.  It is a fun arcade shooter that comes at a cheap price.  Don’t expect a lot of depth to it, and just remember it is $39.99.  This game is all about mindless killing off freaking huge insects and the feeling of being overwhelmed.  Now this game isn’t perfect and has a few little flaws like the boring missions that have you doing the same thing pretty much over and over again, but I mean it’s so cheap.  I didn’t go into this expecting a whole lot, but I definitely got my moneys worth.  I would say you should pick this game up if you are looking for a game you can pick up and kill time with, or a game you want to play with your friends.


“Horrible Bosses” Will Create Crime

admin | July 12, 2011 in Randomly | Comments (7)

Last night I went out with my girlfriend to see a movie.  We both decided to see the movie Horrible Bosses because it looked like a great movie and I heard that Jennifer Aniston’s breasts were having a cameo.  Well I watched the movie and I am quite appalled.  The messages this movie creates are terrible and are going to give too many people bad ideas.

The main idea of this movie is these three guys want to kill their bosses and try to execute their plans to take them out.  Now I speak for all the children and teens who are going to see this movie, this is a terrible movie.  Nothing is funny about killing someone, especially someone who is your boss, you are supposed to respect your boss.  I feel as though many people who go to see this movie are going to get the wrong idea and try and kill their boss.  I know this is going to happen, because according to this movie, it is really funny to try and kill your boss.

I am shocked and appalled that this movie is in theaters right now.  It should be removed.  This is why the country is in debt and crime is at an all time high, because of media like this.  Children are getting the wrong idea and are trying to be like their heroes on the big screen.  I know some kid who wants to be like Jason Bateman is going to kill his first boss when he becomes 16 because his boss asked if he could come into work on a Saturday.

I know the world agrees with me as I write this.  We really need to be careful about what we see and what makes it to the big screen.  This type of movie should not be seen by anyone, it is a tragedy.  I can assure you there will be many deaths of bosses in the future and the funeral for them will only be somber, not funny.